Celine Dion, Bellies & Farmleigh 1/6/08

In bed with joe's laptop. Once again carol from next door has come to my rescue, and given me her internet connection. I think mobile broadband is the way to go. I don't know myself, with the ease of use and just sheer comfort. I no longer have to be tied to the desktop, and twist my neck, if something good comes on the tv. EsatBT are working out expensive at 63.97 every 2 months (for 160 hours anytime usage per month), and they forgot the 50 euro overcharge, which I discovered almost by accident over 2 months ago.

So I think I will go with vodafone, and tell EsatBT to sling their hook. Plus I will save on the rental for the extra phone line for my room. It is much easier to type on this laptop, as the other keyboard has super sensitive keys, which means that I spend most of my time, correcting spelling and grammar mistakes. I really want to keep my fingers typing, for as long as possible, and this seems to be the best way to do it. It had gotten so frustrating to type, that I was over relying on my weekend assistant Deirdre, and her speed typing abilities. So for the last couple of months, I would wait for a few spare hours at the weekend, and punish deirdre's fingers with my diatribe's!

As expected, celine dion was well worth seeing, despite all the hassle I had to go through to get there and back. My week assistant phoned me in work to say she was at home, but there was no one at home and she couldn't get in to get the van keys. I had planned to leave work at two. I had been planning this concert for eight months, and became very anxious. Anyway, after a lot of frantic phone calls, and an emergency dash home from newbridge by my sister, at 3.05 we were finally on the road.

I really need to breathe calmly, when an unexpected situation arises, and know that it will pass soon, instead of blowing my top. Me and stressful situations are totally incompatible! Never having been to croke park before, I wasn't sure where the hell cusack stand was. We inched our way painstakingly from island bridge, so it was after 7 by the time we arrived, (there was no designated wheelchair parking, so we had to hunt around for a big enough space to park the van, eventually finding one a good distance away, outside some grotty flats) missing the first few minutes of Il Divo, her supporting act.

It took over 4 hours to do a usually 90 minute trip, but the people that made the journey from far away counties really deserve credit. The tour now is down to a very well oiled set, and is obviously geared towards the amerìcan market. Lots of soul, the power of love etc, with a very nice surprise singing of the Queen hit "The show must go on"(jesus I love that song, it has the most profound lyrics) She really did it justice too. Lots of glitzy costumes, back up dancers and high kicks from this energetic diva. The finale was "My heart will go on" and then it was back to her private plane and onto England.We were so lucky with the weather, not a cloud in sight, and on our way back to the van the lights of croke park looked great framed in blue.

We actually were making great time on the way back (it seems most of the people were going to make the most of the bank holiday weekend, by staying in town) UNTIL we hit the N7, and after naas and before the newbridge exit, there was a 2 car smash, which had us stopped for over an hour. Its really good to get out and about. I know that my life is so much better now, but there were many years of long, empty days, that merged purposely into each other.

I am grateful that those days are a memory now,0 but for me the one thing that poignantly stands out, is how resourceful and strong we, as humans can be! At the moment I am reading "Star in the east:Krishnamurti, the invention of a messiah", which is a very interesting look at how the people behind religions, can use all the manipulating tools at their disposal, to coerce people into blindly and fanatically following them.

I was having this conversation with Deirdre yesterday, and I genuinely wanted to know if jesus did come back, how well received would he be? Presumably he would be in the attire of today? How devoutly would people react to a skinny guy in hipsters and pony tail? (if he wore sandals and long flowing robes, he would be whisked off to the nearest loony bin) It seems they have been waiting on this second coming for an awful long time. Some people seem to be quite addicted to doom and gloom prophecies.

A case in point, in catholic circles, is the weeping statue phenomenon, that we are being so wicked and sinful now, that our lady is reduced to a blubbering mess, with anguish so great that it actually causes her to weep tears of blood! Now, why the hell wasn't she crying during the holocaust, or any number of recent genocides or when so many kids were being raped by paedophile priests?

People are as good or as bad now as they ever have been, and people need to stop looking back at the past with rose tinted glasses!

Saturday, we went to the phoenix park, enticed by the great weather and some outdoor flower show. But when we heard the entrance tickets were 23 euro with a further 5 euro for parking, we decided to do a u turn, and enjoy the delights of farmleigh house for free. It really is a hidden treasure, and it costs nothing to enjoy the surroundings. Yes, the best things in life really are for free!

I had really wanted to see the sex and the city movie, but it was just too nice a day, but I saw it on Sunday, and it did fulfil expectations. Its like 20 episodes condensed into 2 ½ hours, and is very faithful to the show. I had my doubts about how they could translate a half hour show into a long film, but they pulled it off, and left me aching to go back to new york again someday.

Some people have no shame. On my travels I've seen some grossly overweight men and women in some hideously skimpy outfits. Now, I'm a big believer in "if you've got it, flaunt it but when you obviously don't, for fuck's sake don't wear a boob tube or tight tracksuits. My gut is bad enough, but some of these guys have bellies so pronounced, that I don't know how they tie their shoes, or even go to the toilet (how do they find it: bar they have a piece of string with an attached bell around their members) I can only assume that sex (with another living person) is out of the question. For me, its about why some people are disabling themselves, and not some empty vacuous reason, about chasing some body beautiful delusional image.

It's a bank holiday Monday here, so this accounts for my long rambling entry.The sun has gone in, but I don't care. I can catch up on some reading, and do some exercises. I am doing some balance and back strengthening moves (link on my exercise page) and they really work. I'm going to try and keep it simple, and keep the bits that are working still working, and I'll fight dependancy to the very end.